Peter Marklund

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Sun Dec 15 2002 07:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)

Vulgar but Funny

A friend of mine pointed me to a funny story by Mark Driver, I must admit that I had some really good laughs. Mr. Driver is a good writer indeed.

On president Bush's build up for war with Iraq:

"Feel that national muscle flexing, little people. It flexes for you. It is your muscle too. Become one with the larger power. Melt into empire. Don't you feel strong? Don't you feel potent? Don't you have war fever? Haven't you been convinced by all that amazing evidence? Or you can't wait for evidence? Do you wish they would hurry up and start dropping bombs on people before your family is destroyed by weapons of mass destruction? You may have no control over your shitty little life, but man are you gonna whup some Iraqi ass."

On relationships with women:

"I tell you, I'm starting to get the impression that women are sort of hard to please. When a woman says something to a man, she's lying. She's really saying something completely different. "I can't believe you left your socks in the middle of the fucking living room" actually means "You take me for granted and there's a cuter guy at work who would probably treat me way better." "You don't talk to me anymore" means "you won't let me babble on for hours without making faces." "I hate you" means "I hate that you're not as upset and emotional and as crazy as I am." "I'm moving out" means "I'm moving out no matter what but I'm still gonna get mad if you don't beg me to stay. In fact if you don't beg me to stay, I may stay just to piss you off." "